When I was younger I was so in love with Whitney Houston. She was fresh and young and could melt icebergs with her sultry voice. It seemed that every note of every song made me want to either be in love or save the world. In some sense my world was better because I could pop in my cassettes ( yes I owned cassettes and a Sony Walkman) and just drift in the waves of her voice. Whitney was youth and living your best white life personified . One of my all time favorites is I Wanna Dance with Somebody. The video was everything a gayish young boy could want to get into without getting a whippin. I would escape into that song because Whitney knew I was alone and wanted someone to love me. I associated this song with searching but not quite getting. Listening to this was always bitter sweet. Joy and pain.
As I got older and Whitney seemingly started living a life that was in a downward spiral I was still her card carrying fan. I know that all to well the game she had to play in order to be “seen”. Her antics were actually just plain pure Whitney without the filters and fanfare. I lived that life all to well. Being something I wasn’t was easy. I just smiled pretty and became whatever “they” said I should be. Being the real me was hard, scary and buried and when I did show a small crack of my real self people did not know how to take it....I was in their opinion not being myself.
I now see this same song in a different light. I think it took being in love, being heart broken , being broken and being just plain alright, to learn that dancing with someone was not about having a love but for me it was about being spirited and alive....being in love with myself and living my best true self. Learning not to give a fuck while saying fuck it ( fuck is my favorite word). Whitney’s song became the voice of my revolution reminding me that everyday was a day to dance and celebrate all that I was, am and will be. I am Whitney and I wanna dance !!!!!
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